Happy New Year! Have you set yourself any resolutions?

I used to be terrible for setting myself unrealistic resolutions. You name it, I’ve probably said it over the years…. ‘I will lose x amount of weight!’ ‘I will start every day with a work-out!’ ‘I will only eat chocolate on Saturdays!’ This year I feel very differently. My 2021 new year resolution was… ‘to have no expectations.’ Oh… I can hear you think…that’s boring?! But actually, this is exactly what I need.

I used to think that by doing certain things in life, I would be happy… losing weight, having abs etc. etc. But none of it worked. It also came with an extra big dose of beating myself up when I really couldn’t bring myself to do another work out or ended up binging on everything I told myself I wasn’t allowed to eat. Fun times.

This year is a strange one. Everything is so uncertain. We have restrictions placed on our lives through no control of our own. So, I asked myself, what is the best thing that I can do to help myself? HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS. I can’t promise myself that my business will grow in these times. I can’t promise myself when I’m working from home all the time that I’m not going to touch those extra enjoyable foods more often. I can’t promise myself that this is the year to get super fit – I’m restricted by an injury. Yet I can promise myself to live in the present. To take each day as it comes. To accept the things which are out of my control. To nurture my body as much as I can, whether it’s a walk in the fresh air, or letting it rest on the sofa. To marvel at the little things*

Thinking this through really begs the question; why do we set ourselves such high expectations? Where do they really come from? What is this need to live under constant pressure? Is it actually helping you? Or hindering? That’s something you’ll have to answer for yourself. Be still, close your eyes, the answer is in there, deep down. They key to releasing these expectations is to understand the source. I’m not saying it’s easy, I had to get help for this myself many years ago.

So maybe having no expectations is not a realistic resolution for you this year. That’s okay. But maybe this realisation is sparking a different resolution; to help yourself in a new way. To find out what’s going on with you. To have an understanding for the patterns of your thoughts. This could be through; sitting with yourself, making a list, drawing a mind map, meditating, asking a therapist for help. It could be anything.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the year where you get to know and accept the real you again, you don’t need a new ‘polished’ version.

Love Hattie xx

*I gained happiness this week after discovering that my orchid (which I’d pretty much written off as dead) has grown a new stem and is re-blooming.